Pastor Bill’s Testimony
The Lord Is My Shepherd
Cyber*Daily*Devotion by Pastor Bill
Scripture: Psalm 23:1 (A Psalm of David)
”The LORD is my shepherd; I have everything I need” NLT
Before my car accident in 1994 it seemed that countless clichés
about God and church never took root. As I remember back the one
about equipping intrigued me the most --- it goes like this:
GOD DOESN’T CALL THE EQUIPPED --- GOD EQUIPS THE CALLED
The light was red on top of a freeway bridge in the western suburbs
of Cleveland, Ohio. My mind was racing ahead to meeting my Uncle Len
and Aunt Mary for dinner. We had not seen each other for more than
10 years. As the red light was glaring at me – smack. No skid, no
screech --- a car hit me from behind. A sharp pain pierced my neck
and left me dazed. My left arm and leg were paralyzed. My speech was
slurred as someone came to the drivers’ side window and told me to
just stay still - help was on the way.
When your arm won’t move and your leg won’t move and you are locked
in your body it is a strange experience. Your mind moves your hand
and it doesn’t move. Your mind moves your leg and it stays right
where it is. The sensation is difficult to capture if you have not
experienced it.
What seemed like a week later (10-15 minutes) paramedics arrived,
lifted me out of the car, placed me on a board and hoisted me into
an ambulance? We were off to the hospital.
Just a routine rear-end car accident. Probably happens hundreds of
times a day in America. But for me it changed my life forever!
Once at the hospital it was determined that spinal damage had
occurred in the collision and they administered a sedative to me.
Now for the rest of the story!
The sedative wore off as a huge incapacitating headache gripped me.
It had been hours since the sedative was administered and the result
was a stopped heart. A code blue was called and they worked long and
hard to resuscitate me. My time without oxygen to the brain did
considerable damage to the short term part of my brain. Functions
like adding, subtracting, multiplying and dividing were scrambled
and a new experience in my life was detected --- dyslexia.
A spinal fusion was next on the agenda and nine weeks of recovery.
The scar healed, the vertebra grew together but the short term
memory loss, dyslexia and math all but failed me. Soon after it was
clear the fusion kept me out of a wheel chair but failed to solve my
problems. The surgery left me with pressure on the spine that
created chronic pain.
My day job at the time was National Sales Manager in the Office
Products Industry which required quick thinking, math and
communications skills. My challenge was to hide my newly found
deficiencies from everyone until they could be reclaimed. It was
quite a struggle but it finally became apparent that without quick
thinking, math and communication skills my performance suffered. Add
powerful medicine necessary to control the pain and my position was
terminated.
Just 37 days before my accident we had closed on the house of our
dreams. It was a broken down historic mansion built in 1888 in St.
Paul, Minnesota which Carol and I were going to restore.
When the income stops you lose everything like a home, cars and all
your toys.
My original doctors were unable to diagnose my problems properly and
months of misplaced treatment followed. Then God provided a
wonderful Christian --- Doctor John --- who took charge and
medically set me on the right course.
Years of drugs for depression followed with more drugs to mask the
pain.
The Therapy Pool at Regions Hospital offered pain relief without
drugs and a way for me to exercise. Three therapists --- Marge,
Athena and Mary worked with me day in and day out to rebuild my
muscles and stamina.
These were long and difficult years for Carol and me. In the early
90’s we had become part of a home church to build marriages. It was
this group of Art, Mary, Ray and Barb along with our close friends
Bob and Chris that became our strength over the years to follow.
My depression had paralyzed my thoughts and actions. A Christian
friend told me when in confusion read the 23rd Psalm every day and
God will bring clarity. The idea was written in my bible. But to
this day I cannot remember who introduced this to me.
Every morning and every night was spent reading the 23rd Psalm. Only
there was no recollection of reading it. Once again it was read. No
memory of what was read came forward. Day after day, week after
week, month after month was spent reading the 23rd Psalm. It seemed
the more reading accomplished the less retained.
Several months of reading, lead to the bright idea to put a calendar
in my bible and mark down when the 23rd Psalm was read. Looking back
--- this began to organize my life. Soon after, while reading the
first verse in the Psalm God spoke to me through the scripture:
THE LORD IS MY SHEPHERD
Bingo – revelation - it sunk in - HE would bring me into a special
relationship with HIM if my life was dedicated to trust in HIM as a
sheep trusts the shepherd. That’s when my son Greg showed up at my
door and handed me a computer. He was very clear, “You could operate
one before your accident now start again.”
I placed it in the corner and ignored it.
Each morning and night the 23rd Psalm comforted me as I checked off
my calendar. Weeks and months went by and then HE spoke again
through the scripture:
I HAVE EVERYTHING I NEED
HE was telling me HE would supply everything needed because of this
special relationship. Several days later a wonderful Christian
friend named Art asked me to lunch. He was genuinely concerned about
me and my future. I told him about the computer Greg had left for
me. He considered it a confirmation for me to start a bible study on
the internet.
I filed that next to the computer in the corner.
The next morning reading the 23rd Psalm created new vigor in
anticipation of another revelation. When you’re hot you’re hot ---
every morning and every night my Bible was open to the 23rd Psalm.
Marking it down on the calendar another month or two passed and --
pop!
HE LETS ME REST IN GREEN MEADOWS
HE told me this was my time for rest. Satan had turned it into a
nightmare because of worry over my accident, family, finances, the
past and the future. HE said rest. That’s when He brought Dan into
my life and he taught me how to be set free from my depression. This
revelation changed my life. There was hope and HE would guide me to
it. Rest followed.
The next morning back to the Bible – The 23rd Psalm – Marking it
down! My life was like one of Pavlov’s dogs waiting for a meal. Days
turned to weeks, weeks to a month while everyday reading the 23rd
Psalm and marking it in the calendar. Then HE spoke again:
HE LEADS ME BESIDE PEACEFUL STREAMS
HE was beginning to refresh my life. In my rest the healing could
begin. Still my limitations prevented me from doing very much. But
hope was beginning to spring forth.
I met with Pastor Barry and explained my computer and the
encouragement to start a bible study on the Internet. He agreed and
Sunday morning we announced at Cornerstone Community Center in
Oakdale, Minnesota that Cyber*Bible*Study would start that week. 33
people signed up and the ministry was born. That was 1999, more than
five years after my accident.
Back into the Bible for the 23rd Psalm --- wrote it down day after
day - night after night. Two months went by and the following popped
out of the pages at me:
HE RENEWS MY STRENGTH
It was very clear the healing was for real and HE alone would bring
me through this. My timing demanded a healing right now -- HIS
timing was a process to obtain healing. That’s when HE brought John,
Heather and Brian into my life to usher in a ccm web site and work
through my IT problems.
Back to the bible and 23rd Psalm. Day after day – night after night
- marking it down on that calendar. Then something incredible
happened.
HE GUIDES ME ALONG RIGHT PATHS
HE would reconstruct my life and lead me on the path to follow. All
that was needed was FAITH and HE would do all HE said. That’s when
Lanka from India visited my house and prophesied that I’d come to
India, preach to the churches, be in a Christian movie and help him
produce Christian films.
This was a bit much for me to handle --- so out the door with him
with a hearty laugh. But it did get written on the calendar and
Carol did hear it! My pain was bubbling over and I was unable to
walk to the corner and back. There was no riding in a car over 30
minutes without severe pain. Pool therapy consumed me five days a
week while still unable to count and my memory was definitely
somewhere else. Go to India, preach, be in a movie and produce
Christian films --- It was obvious to me that I was not the only one
taking drugs!
Back to the Bible and the 23rd Psalm and another month of reading
and HE handed me a key.
BRINGING HONOR TO HIS NAME
Then it became clear what God was doing over these many months and
years:
HE was reintroducing HIMSELF as my shepherd
HE said HE would supply all my needs
HE brought me into rest
HE was personally refreshing me
HE was restoring me health
HE was reconstructing my life to follow HIM
HE would do all this and send me overseas for HIS purposes
And all this so HE would get the glory and the honor.
Wow what revelation – by the world’s standard I was a throw away.
Nothing left but an empty shell. But HE was taking over and
rebuilding something better than before. That’s when HE brought
Charley into my life to guide me in the intricacies of building a
501(c) 3 non-profit ministry.
Back to the 23rd Psalm morning and night and marking it in my
calendar. Another revelation was wanted that morning, that night,
the next morning or the next night. But God’s timing is always best
so another couple of months went by and wham!
EVEN WHEN I WALK THROUGH THE DARK VALLEY OF DEATH
HE allowed me to walk this walk -- HE allowed me to receive the shot
that stopped my heart – HE allowed me to die in that hospital only
to be resuscitated in a vegetable state so HE could do what doctors
could not --- So HE alone gets the glory and the honor. That’s when
it occurred to me what a blessing it was to have Carol as a faithful
wife who stood with me through all this and prayed for me every day.
Over 35 years ago God blessed me with the perfect help mate – it
just took me a long – long time to figure it out!
Resting in HIM and reading the 23rd Psalm it was becoming clear that
HIS plan was unfolding. Another month or two and ZAP!
I WILL NOT BE AFRAID
HE was telling me in all this --- Do not be afraid --- HE was in
control --- Continue in HIS plan. That’s when He brought Bob into my
life to teach me how to systematically grow
Christian*Cyber*Ministries on the Internet.
It had been close to two years of reading the 23rd Psalm. Nothing
else made much sense but there was comfort every time I finished.
More time passed waiting on my next revelation and then when least
expected there it was!
FOR YOU ARE CLOSE BESIDE ME
Tears of joy sprang from my eyes then just as they are now. For
years I had been faithful in the small things HE required of me and
now HE was rewarding me by being faithful in return and being close
to me. While resting and refreshing the healing process was moving
along and HE was right beside me each painful step. Each addition,
subtraction, multiplication and division problem HE was there. Each
pool therapy session day after day HE was right there, close beside
me. That’s when HE brought Mitch into my life to guide me through
medical decisions.
Back to the 23rd Psalm. It had been months and years of reading
while marking it down on the calendar. Then another one.
YOUR ROD AND YOUR STAFF PROTECT AND COMFORT ME
As a result of this accident we lost everything we accumulated over
26 years of marriage. Carol often reminds me as we walked away from
our dream house that she looked back and said, “nothing is going to
own us ever again”. That was the day HE officially became our
shelter and comfort. It’s also when he brought Denny and JoAnna into
my life to work with and pray for this ministry.
The months kept rolling by and still the 23rd Psalm comforted me.
YOU PREPARE A FEAST FOR ME IN THE PRESENCE OF MY ENEMIES
HE was in control. When all my talents and abilities were swept away
in an instant and my earthly treasures were removed it was time to
make a choice. I had to make that kind of choice --- either curse
God for what had happened --- or to turn toward HIM. My choice was
never in doubt. HE was the only way to go! HE rewarded me by
bringing faithful supporters who joined me to financially help with
the ministry.
My time with the 23rd psalm was not over yet. There were more verses
to go. When my earthly patience was growing thin this arrived:
YOU WELCOME ME AS A GUEST ANOINTING MY HEAD WITH OIL
Through all this HE was anointing my head with oil for HIS purposes.
HE had the plan He just needed me available. There were no talents
to offer --- they were all gone --- no money to give --- it was all
gone --- and HE still chose me. Then Doug called and asked to have
lunch. He said he was to anoint me with oil. Not a drop but a major
portion of oil. It flowed off my head in puddles on my clothes.
My lessons from the 23rd Psalm were far from over. Day and night for
another couple of months and:
MY CUP OVERFLOWS WITH BLESSINGS
With my worldly desires for things way behind me and a desire to
walk, talk and communicate properly first and foremost in my daily
efforts, my attitudes all changed. Every day was a gift from God and
every thing and everyone was a gift from HIM. New people, new
adventures and a new life emerged as HE provided daily for our
needs. Each day HE provides and to HIM alone are all the praise,
glory and honor. That’s when HE brought David into my life to give
me help and guidance in ministry financial matters.
No stopping now. The end was close but there was more. Sure enough
several months later this arrived:
SURELY YOUR GOODNESS AND UNFAILING LOVE WILL PURSUE ME ALL MY LIFE
Love was the key but before love could grow forgiveness was
necessary. I had to forgive the driver that hit me, the hospital
staff that improperly injected me, the insurance company that took
25 years of premiums and wouldn’t pay and most of all to forgive
myself. What a revelation! So with all that behind me it was time to
pursue a new love for Carol, family and friends. That’s when HE
provided a group of strong Christian men to form the ccm Golf
Committee. David, Art, Bob and Chuck came forward to provide for the
annual fund raiser.
There were not many verses left but I couldn’t wait to see how it
ended. Each morning and night reading the 23rd Psalm and pretty much
on schedule several months later there it was:
AND I WILL LIVE IN THE HOUSE OF THE LORD
If this was a test, I was sure I had passed it. It was a long time
from the beginning of this adventure but there will be a great deal
more to follow. You’ve probably heard it said one can’t be an
effective minister until he has gone through the fire. Well --- I
went to the fire --- I jumped in the fire --- and I came out of the
fire. HE was there with me each step of the way and we now dwell
together. That’s when the Lord brought Shadrack from South Africa
back into my life and impressed on me to bring teams to South Africa
and build churches for the needy.
That should be the end of the story. But reading the 23rd Psalm was
part of me -- cherishing every word as it told the story of my life.
But as God would have it about two months later there was another
one!
FOREVER
Those tears of joy returned as he confirmed that I would be with HIM
in eternity!
And there is no better way to say it than --- to God be all the
praise, glory and honor. That weekly bible study of 33 has become
Cyber*Daily*Devotion with hundreds of thousands of readers daily in
over 100 countries around the globe.
No matter how poor my body is He is faithful to get me where He
wants me to go to accomplish HIS will. To God be all the glory and
the honor. Amen!
GOD DOESN’T CALL THE EQUIPPED --- GOD EQUIPS THE CALLED
Now having come full circle I finally understand what it means ---
when I was fully equipped there was too much of me in the way. It
wasn’t until I was emptied of me that HIS equipping could begin.
So this is my testimony of how God is rebuilding my life --- putting
everything in place --- and how Christian*Cyber*Ministries had its
beginnings.
Prayer: Father, thank You for calling and equipping me to do this.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!
Fast forward to February 2007
Scripture: Ecclesiastes 3:1
“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under
the heaven” KJV
Fourteen months ago (January 2006), while in South Africa, our
friends Leon and Lorna gave Carol a book to read. The name of it is
“Is Jesus Enough?” Carol read it and could not put it down. She gave
it to Glen (The puppet guy) and he read page one and could not put
it down until he was finished. (I didn’t read it because with short
term memory loss it’s hopeless to read books.)
Carol said to me, “Bill, you need to meet the author of this book.”
Immediately after finishing the book Glen picked up my cell phone
while in South Africa and called the author. Glen introduced himself
and left a message for Maryanne his secretary. Glen mentioned how
much he and Carol enjoyed reading the book and said we would like to
meet the author next year when we return in January 2007.
Over the next twelve months Glen kept in touch with Marianne via
email. In September 2006 Glen set up a date to meet the author on
Thursday, January 18, 2007.
We drove on a picturesque country highway for our meeting. The sky
was a beautiful African blue and absolutely cloudless. We arrived
and yikes! --- a three mile dirt road to finish the trip. For those
who really know me --- the worst thing for my neck is the vibration
of a wash board dirt road. We drove the last three miles very ---
very slowly! It was 1:00 PM when we entered the parking lot.
We arrived for our appointment and the author was in prayer
preparing for the up coming weekend speaking engagements. Pain from
the dirt road experience was catching up with me and I took some
pain medication. We waited for about an hour and the author
graciously met with us.
Glen and I spent about an hour with the author and discussed many
ministry issues for both of us and then our discussion turned to
why. Why had Glen and Pastor Bill made an appointment the year
before and traveled eight time zones and 12,000 miles to keep this
appointment?
In the book Glen and Carol read --- there was a chapter about an
orphanage of about 30 children that the author oversees. The
orphanage started in the mid 1990’s. Since its inception the
orphanage has five documented cases of children healed of HIV/AIDS.
When the author specifically asked me why I had come so far --- my
first reaction was to hide behind my wife --- Carol told me to come!
--- but as I spoke my words changed as the Holy Spirit took over ---
“I was in a car accident in 1994 and living in serious pain with
short term memory loss ever since. I want to be healed and I want to
pass this healing on to others”.
It didn’t take the author long to bring out a small bottle of
anointing oil. He anointed me with oil and prayed for my healing and
for the compassion of Jesus. The same compassion Jesus exhibited
when he wept for Lazarus before calling him out of the grave. John
11:25 “Jesus Wept”. Jesus knew Lazarus would live again but he wept
out of compassion for the people.
The release was immediate --- I believe Jesus healed my body and
mind out of his deep compassion --- right then --- right there. At
exactly this moment it began to rain. It poured as hard as I’ve ever
seen it rain --- for two hours! The author confirmed, “The rain is a
sign of your healing and ministry.”
We toured the orphanage and ate pizza --- then we started driving
out of the parking lot. I was driving. I stopped and looked at three
miles of dirt road staring at me --- this would be my first test. I
rapidly accelerated out of the parking lot --- a few minutes later
Glen yelled, “Slow down!”
Glen and I met with the author. January 18, 2007. At 2:00 PM was my
last pain pill. My car accident was in 1994 and I’ve been on
Percocet, Hydrocodone, Oxycodone or Vicoden for severe pain ever
since. I’ve had no withdrawal from the pain killers. Praise the
Lord!
About the rain! The author had written a book which is his testimony
called FAITH LIKE POTATOES. The book has now become a film and the
author gave me a copy of the movie. While in South Africa Glen and I
were way to busy ministering to HIV/AIDS Orphans and assisting with
the church roof in Mdantsane to take time to watch the movie. So I
brought it home with me to America.
When Carol heard the news that I was healed by phone and email all
she could do was give God the glory! Now I was back in America and
Carol wanted to know all about my experience. We talked for hours
about it --- giving God glory --- as I explained NO PAIN --- NO PAIN
KILLERS. Then we settled in to watch the film FAITH LIKE POTATOES.
My experience of Co-Producing the film MY LAWYER in India has
prepared me to watch a film with a critical eye. But this film was
different from the very beginning. The first bold words I read on
the screen said “Based on a True Story.” No empty Hollywood hype
like --- “some of this really happened”. Just, “BASED ON A TRUE
STORY.”
One scene in the movie --- it is a beautiful African blue sky day
with bright sunshine. The author and his workers are preparing a
field for planting and determine to burn off the stubble. The fire
gets out of hand and all surrounding neighbors are called to help.
Eventually the fire is totally out of control and is preparing to
consume the entire farm including his house and buildings.
Everything man could do was exhausted --- all the farmers could do
was watch the destruction. The author turned to the Lord and prayed
for rain. The answer was immediate --- It rained --- It poured ---
dousing the fire --- just as it did when I was healed and the author
said, “There’s the sign.”
The more I know about the author the more I’ve come to realize that
when he prays --- and God answers --- it rains.
The author confirmed, “The rain is a sign.” I asked to be healed and
that has happened. I also asked to pass that healing on to others
and that too has begun. Stay tuned to see what God will do with this
new season in my life!
Who is the author? Angus Buchan of Greytown, South Africa. His life
story is in a Major Motion Picture soon to be released in the USA.
It’s called “Faith Like Potatoes” and chronicles his life before and
after receiving Christ.
Please excuse me now as I take a break --- I’m in the middle of
reading my first book in twelve years. And I remember it! TO GOD BE
ALL THE GLORY!
Prayer: Father, thank you for healing me and allowing this new
season in my life.
In the name of the Lord Jesus Christ. Amen!
Our mailing address for donations is:
Christian*Cyber*Ministries
1870 2nd Ave. SE #130-1
Cambridge MN 55008, USA
Electronic donations Option 7
www.Hallelujah3.org
Copyright (c) 2007 - Pastor Bill – Christian*Cyber*Ministries - All
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